I can guarantee that no one searched out the date that we were going to be
playing Bournemouth at home and put a big red cross on the calendar. Also, no
one at the FA or the police decreed that this game is going to have to be
played at 11am on a Sunday to cut down on rival firms drinking time before the
game. No one at Sky Sports looked and said “we have to put this blood curdling
grudge match in our schedules”. That’s all you need to know really, Southampton
versus Bournemouth at 3pm on a Saturday.
There might be a bit more on it if both teams had something to play for. Saints
have still to make mathematically certain staying up for next season but
Bournemouth are there already and in truth, have been there for quite a while.
This amounts to another good season for Bournemouth who have comfortably managed
to stay in the Premier League whilst other clubs of similar size have fallen
away and been relegated. Once again I find myself impressed by the work that
Eddie Howe has done but because they haven’t really improved from last season,
his stock seems to be a little bit lower than it was this time last year when
there was talk about him being a potential new manager for one of the really
big clubs. They have in truth been pretty dreadful since Christmas as this season
has followed the same pattern as last and that they were virtually safe by
Christmas and then it looked for a while like they might make a late bid for
relegation but they managed to win again to keep their heads above water.
they thumped Brighton 5-0 away from home before the following week, losing at
home to an abysmal Fulham side who have been mathematically relegated for about
a month. I’m beginning to wonder if a manager can just go stale club if he’s
there for too long, especially when he has taken them as far as he possibly
can. The question for the Bournemouth hierarchy is could they get anyone better
equipped to deal with the circumstances at The Vitality and the question for
Eddie is whether or not he’s going to be happy just trying to achieve the same
thing season and season with no real prospect of improvement.
On the pitch, they do undoubtably have some very good players with Nathan Ake,
Ryan Fraser, Callum Wilson, David Brooks and Josh King being the best of
them. Wilson has made the last few
England squads which will undoubtedly mean that other clubs come sniffing in
the summer (trust us, we know how this one works) and Ryan Fraser has already
been making noises about moving on. So, it’s a big summer for The Cherries but for
now, summer doesn’t matter but hopefully after today, Saints can concentrate on
the summer and the joy of relatively stress-free last few games.
Team news and oh shit, Maya Yoshida is missing and Vestergaard is not back so
Ralph is kind of forced into playing a flat back four which includes Jack Stephens.
This kind of has disaster written all over it but hopefully we can do enough
going forward. High scoring game in prospect I feel. I think this is the first
time that Danny Ings and Shane long have both started.
The Bournemouth line-up sees the return of Artur Boruc and Nathanial Clyne, To
players who I have very fond memories of from their Southampton days. Clyne joined Liverpool of course but without
any of the shit or dick-headedness of Lovren, van Dijk and Lallana and was a
very good player from us when we first landed back in the Premier League – not to
be sniffed at allegedly. Boruc was the
first Premier League standard goalkeeper that we had and was largely excellent
for the period that he was first choice. He was somewhat unfortunate to get
bombed out when Fraser Forster signed. I’m sure there will be some twats giving
them a hard time today but neither of them deserve it.
How are we go and straight onto the front foot and camping in the Bournemouth
half. The first real chance comes after
a 15th minute corner which Bertrand swings in and Bednarek swings a leg at it
and it is hacked away from just in front of the line by King. They haven’t got
out of their half yet and we very nearly create another chance as Ings slightly
over hits a clever through ball and Redmond can’t get there in time to lift it
over Boruc. The Holy Goalie definitely seems to be carrying a bit more timber
and he did back when he played for us but he was smartly off his line there.
Hojbjerg then floats a lovely ball over the defence to Redmond and he knocks it
inside and there is the Feckin’ Goal Machine who drills it goalwards, watches
it deflect off some half arsed attempt to block by Ake and nestle in the corner
of the net. 1-0 and about time and the Shane has done it again.
Still all Saints straight after the goal and we lose the ball on the edge of
their box, Bournemouth break, pass, pass, pass and Gosling scores, drilling it
past Gunn from just inside the box. Fuck off. That is literally the first time
they have got anywhere near our goal and I don’t think Angus gone has even
touched the ball yet. Defensively we were all over the place. And to be fair to
Bournemouth, they took the chance really well.
Gosling cups his ear to the Saints fans at the Chapel End. Twat.
Howe knows he has completely got out of jail and hooks one of the centre backs
and brings on Ryan Fraser, switching to their usual 4-4-2. Regardless, we get back on the front foot and
Shane finds another opening on the left and shoots, it’s half stopped by Boruc
and then Shane manages to hit the near post with a shot into an open goal from
5 yards. Absolutely fucking ridiculous.
The tactical change that Howe has made has certainly made a huge difference and
out of it, Bournemouth are now dominating the game with us struggling to get
any sort of momentum. With our midfield not able to get anywhere near the ball.
Oriol doesn’t get anywhere near the ball and launches Fraser up in the air.
Fraser is on the ground for so long I actually think he might be dead for a
second but he gets back up and is perfectly OK. The healing properties of lying on the ground
for a couple of minutes are quite remarkable, as is the fact that Oriol has
been booked again.
With Saints on the ropes a bit, you need the players to go back to doing the
basics, especially in defence. By this, I mean win headers and tackles and
clear the ball properly so what does Jack Stephens do? Firstly he allows hopeful punt forward to
bounce and it kicked right up in the air allowing Willson to challenge him and
win the ball and in the next phase of play he scuffed a clearance a whole 10
yards and Bournemouth eventually win the corner from which Brooks shoots from
the edge of the box and it flies through a pack of bodies, Gunn saves but can’t
hold it and Wilson taps into the net from 3 yards. More goading of the ultras in the
Chapel. Twat.
Bournemouth spend the rest of the first half lying on the ground after any sort
of challenge, be it a foul or not. Three minutes of added time at the end of
the first half tells its own story but we can’t get on the front foot again and
half time arrives.
Ralph makes his own tactical change at half-time with Matty Targett coming on
and Ryan Bertrand going to the left side of a defensive three. The man
sacrificed is the walking yellow card that is Oriol Romeu.
David Brooks is a player who has had a very good season and he’s obviously a
very good player but he is pathetic. He goes down after a nothing challenge on
the halfway line. He is not injured and it’s not a foul but in time honoured
Bournemouth tradition, he decides to lie on the ground and by the time he’s
decided to get up again, with absolutely nothing wrong with him, the following
is happened.
Saints pick it up and work it to JWP who is about 40 yards out. A Purposeful run forward and he works it onto
his left foot and drills it low and it’s wrong-footed the Pole in Goal and nestled
in the corner. Another one for the
watching England manager and 2-2. Get
in. There’s a little token protest from
Bournemouth about Brooks being down whilst this was going on but not too much. They know he was being pathetic.
Ings has a chance as JWP picks him out in the box, floating a superb ball over
the defence but he tries a first time flick and Boruc saves. Next time, in it comes from JWP and Ings
chests down and battles two Bournemouth defenders and comes up with the ball. Back to JWP and into the path of Valery who
take son Ake for pace and brilliantly gets the cross in and there is Matt Targett
of all people, at the back stick to head the ball powerfully across Boruc and
into the far side of the goal.
Somewhat surprisingly, Ralph decides to put on Armstrong instead of Lemina to
replace Ings and Armstrong’s first contribution is the dribble across the pitch
and lose the ball to Lerma. The ball goes on to King and Armstrong tries to
take him out but on goes King, finds Fraser on the left and his low cross is
converted by Wilson from close range. For fucks sake, we can give a goal away
from absolutely anywhere.
It’s the 88th minute and we really should be keeping things tight from here on
in but Jack Stephens just got the ball. He walks into the centre circle and
passes it straight to Bournemouth player. One pass later and Wilson is clean
through on goal but luckily, he is not is deadly from further out than 5 yards
and Gunn manages to block.
Austin comes on for Long and immediately seems to be on a one man mission to
waste as much time as possible with the ball in the corner. I didn’t even
consider that this must be something to do with Cardiff and their game. Someone
behind me pipes up that Cardiff are losing so I guess that explains it. I’ll
admit that I find it a little frustrating that we are playing like we were
desperately hanging on for a point against Bournemouth at home but it doesn’t
really matter a toss. I’m sure the Bournemouth ultras will be giving us loads
about that but it is not really about you guys, it is about ensuring we got the
point that we needed.
The final whistle goes and it is confirmed that Cardiff have lost the point
that we got today means that we are mathematically certain to be staying in the
Premier League for another season and Ralph Hasenhuttl has done the first part
of the job he was brought in to do. Fair play to the man and what a difference
he has made. We would have got relegated if we had persisted with Hughes or if we
got the appointment wrong. The man has been brilliant not only for what is done
on the pitch but for the unifying effect he has had amongst the fan base.
What a ridiculous game that was. Brilliant spells of play from us mixed in with
utter garbage with horrific misses and appalling defending. We also had an
opposition who only produced good play in flashes but every time they did, they
scored. I would say that we were the better team for the first 20 minutes and
the whole of the second half and they were the better team for the last 25
minutes of the first half yet we’ve ended up drawing. I would be absolutely
spewing about two dropped points in normal circumstances but we have to see
this game in the bigger context.
Let’s be honest, it was gonna be a bit of a shambles from the moment the team
was announced. Jack Stephens once again proved that he’s just not good enough
for Premier League level with the 20 minutes before half time being
particularly diabolical clearances that went 10 yards, letting the ball bounce
and generally defending like a 10-year-old in a game where everyone else is an
adult. The second half was better with Bertrand moved to the left of the
defensive three and the more solidity that gave and Targett’s introduction
meant we were a lot better in the second half. We should have won of course, especially after
Targett put us 3-2 ahead but if you think that, you reckon without our ability
to throw in a goal from virtually any situation and Armstrong was the fall guy,
dribbling across the pitch, losing the ball and then failing to bring down the
guy when he tried to make up for his error.
Going forward we were pretty good in the main though the ‘un-clinical-ness’
remains. Shane scored for the fourth time in five games and he also managed to
come up with the miss of the century when he hit the post from 5 yards with an
open goal. Redmond was unplayable at times but slightly wasteful but other
times And it was good to see Danny Ings not only play reasonably well but last
until nearly the 80th minute.
Ralph have a very good interview on match of the day in the evening we
basically spoke about the job that needs doing over the summer. He said that
the planning for next season can start tomorrow and from that, he clearly
believes that he is going to be allowed to do this. We all know that there needs
to be a clear out and we all know that that is going to cost money in itself in
some cases. We clearly also need to back the man and get in the two or three
quality players that we need to turn this side into a genuine top half team
again.
That’s for another day though. For now, we have two relatively stress-free
games to go, starting with West Ham away at the Virtually Free Athletics Stadium
next week and ending with what should be a bit of a party at home to
Huddersfield and I am particularly looking forward to that one.
It might feel strange to some to celebrate staying in the Premier League but
this time, we got ourselves into such a hole that has become a remarkable
achievement to be safe with two games to go. The main reason for this is that
we can look forward to next season with some genuine excitement knowing that
the form we have showed since Ralph came in would have us one place behind
Manchester United if it was replicated over a whole season. Now, we can
celebrate the fact that we will get to see whether Ralph and the squad can
achieve this next season. Where’s my beer.
League 1 Minus 10 
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