Thank Christ These Two Know Where The Goal Is

Make no mistake, this game is huge. We haven’t won at home
all season and we are playing the one team who are statistically, even worse
than we are. In addition, they are riddled with injuries. Chances like this do
not come along that often.

I’ve not been a fan of the way that Watford has been run over the last few
years with managers coming and going every five minutes and a general sense of
complete chaos everywhere you look. There have been dodgy partnerships with
Italian clubs and there was a time not so long ago with 14 or 15 players were
changing every pre-season. Things did seem to settle down have a bit last
season with Javi Gracia overseeing a run to the FA Cup final, where they
ultimately got completely dicked 6-0 by Manchester City. From the semi-final
win onwards though, they were poor and that form has continued into the season
which ultimately cost Gracia his job. Upon his departure, they swiftly gave the
job back to one of the previous managers, Quique Sanchez Flores which was a bit
mental because he left in terms that were not the best. The good thing is is
that he still is a bit of a pound shop Roberto Mancini with his penchant for
long flowing scarfs and the like..

Ralph’s press conference this week brought the news that Stuart Armstrong has a
hamstring injury and will be out for a couple of weeks, which is a real shame
because he had at last looked like he as going to nail down place on the side.
Also injured is Sofiane Boufal who apparently stubbed his toe on a table in his
house. Rumour has it that he be successfully and then made a bad scission to
take on the fifth and ended up on the deck, calling Mark Hughes a twat in the
process. The only surprise is that he didn’t grab the table and pull it back,
earning a yellow card off of the referee.

The injury to Boufal means that we are deprived of one possible source of
individual brilliance so to my mind, Moussa Djenepo has to start today even
though he has not really proved anything as a starting player. I also expect middleweight
boxer Michael Obafemi to stay in the team as we endeavour to find a way to put
together some attacking play at home against the defence that will no doubt sit
deep and challenge us to break them down.

The going today is a 5.30 kickoff as it has been selected by Sky, presumably to
kill two birds with one stone and take Southampton and Watford off the list.
Let’s face it, there are not many fans outside of Southampton and Watford who
would actually want to watch this game. 19th against 20th live on Brand Premier
League – It’s what Chairman Gao dreamed of when he bought the club… well it
might be.  We have too guess because no
one’s ever told us.  Anyway, after giving
out a free scarf last time to apologise for the Leicester game, the club are
continuing to apologise by offering everybody a free drink this time. Hopefully
I won’t need to have drunk myself into a coma to get anything positive out of
today’s game.

One of my favourite songwriters who writes very atmospheric songs says that you
should always try and mention the weather in the first couple of lines as it
really sets the scene.  So….. It was
fucking cold!  The most warming news
about the team selection was that Boufal’s table had not caused too much damage
and he was on the bench.  Djenepo did
come in for Armstrong, Obafemi did keep his place and joy of joys, so did
Cedric.  I wonder if he’ll actually stop
any crosses coming into the box this week.

So would it be a start that we had last week against Arsenal or would it be a
start that we had the previous week at home to Everton. We are clearly very
very nervous and this manifests itself with Hojbjerg playing a horrific pass
across the back four from midfield and presenting the ball straight to Sarr who
looked as amazed as anyone and drilled the a weak effort straight at McCarthy.

This lucky escape didn’t press the reset button and make us concentrate more,
it just seem to make us get worse as we became paralysed, quite literally with
a shocking lack of movement from everybody. 
We have the odd moment, usually when Djenepo gets on the ball and makes
something happen and he tees up Hojbjerg to fire just over.

Over the course of the last few seasons, Saints have become particularly adept
at conceding simple goals from ridiculous situations and here we go again. Watford
win a very dangerous throw-in about 70 yards from our goal.  This is how it works – throw in to a player
who just hooks it forward.  Bednarek is
under the ball and it sails over him and then Stephens tries to cover and just
knees it into the path of Sarr who advances and smashes it past McCarthy.  Shit the bed.

From the next passage of play the ball ended up with Jack Stephens and with absolutely
no one to pass to, so we just passed around between the back four and
goalkeeper until someone clubbed it up the pitch to our twin midget strike force
and surprise, surprise, we lost the ball. 
Next time, we just it about and no one moves so we keep it at the back
and because there’s no point and no movement, we don’t belt it forwards and boos
rained down from the stands from the Big Sam advocates. I don’t like slagging
off supporters of my own club but just fuck off. What possible good is that
going to do and you Muppets really do deserve to have a failing team to support
as you’re part of the problem.

It nearly gets worse as following a free kick on the left, a cross is boomed
over and no one is marking Sarr who catches it cleanly on the volley and it’s
2-0 all day long until McCarthy instinctively sticks out a leg and somehow
shins it just wide.  The keeper saved us
again as Delafeu puts in a great ball from the right and Sarr has a tap in
until McCarthy flies across and diverts it away from him.

The rest of the first half is absolutely fucking dreadful with us still in paralysed
mode. The centre backs get the ball and in front of them they have JWP and Hojbjerg,
neither of whom want the ball and upfront they have Ings and Obafemi looking
straight at them, not on the half turn and not looking to break into any space.
What the fuck are these guys coached during the week.

Half time and I’m wanting whoever coaches our attacking play when we have the
ball to be sacked.  I’d love to know what
the fuck Dave Watson and Kelvin Davis bring to the party?

So, a game of two halves or the same old shit?  The latter to start with as Sarr is allowed
to cut in and fire just over the bar.  We
aren’t getting anywhere and it’s double change time on the hour with Redmond
and Obafemi being replaced with Boufal and Long.  Redmond throws a bit of a strop as he goes
off  – come on then Nathan – tell me why
you don’t deserve to go off as you’ve not exactly done much.

Boufal immediately gets on the ball and skins Fermina, the Watford right back.  This of course pulls players out of position
as they have to challenge him and you can instantly see that Watford aren’t sitting
there comfortably any more with us playing everything in front of them.  They start panicking at the back and Doucoure
knocks it back to Foster who decides to do that not very sensible thing and try
and take it round Danny Ings.  Down they
go in a heap and Forster gets very very lucky as the referee somehow manages to
give a free-kick against Ings for not very much.  Not even reviewed by VAR despite huge claims
for a penalty… ok then.

Boufal is absolutely taking the piss of the left hand side of the Watford defence
and plays a 1-2 with Ings before driving to the by-line and pulling it back for
Shane Long who has a free shot from about the same position where Djenepo had
one from against Arsenal. Instead of putting it wide however, Long manages to
mis-hit it and scoop it up in the air allowing Foster the tip it onto the bar.
It is ridiculous how we manage to not score from the positions that we get
ourselves into.

Cedric, who has been playing like a complete bell end, gets away down the right
and has a chance to deliver one of his phenomenal crosses but instead of that
he delivers the normal cross which is kind of and ankle height skimmer and Djenepo
goes over and we get the on edifying spectacle of the crowd chanting for VAR.
Fuck off.  They do check this one even
though it’s never a penalty in a million years.

It turns out to be more or less Cedric’s last contribution and off he goes to
be replaced by Yan Valery. Valery immediately swaps passes with JWP before JWP
delivers an absolute brute of the cross from deep on the right hand side, curling
in behind the defence. Ings stretches for it and knoks it back into the middle
and Shane Long must score… nope – this time he manages to scuff it along the ground
and it gets cleared off the line.  I
can’t even be bothered to get angry anymore.

Boufal is still tearing Fermina a new arsehole out on the left hand side and he
skips round the hapless fall back again before over-hitting the cross. It’s
retrieved by Djenepo who takes on and skins Holebas, getting to the byline
again and sets up another chance from within the 6 yard box and this time Ings
takes a touch and lashes it into the roof of the net. 1-1 and thank fuck for
that.

From our next attack, Hojbjerg picks up the ball in the centre of midfield and
gets clipped but the referee allows him to run on and on and he gets to the
edge of the box before he is hauled down by Capoue.  Free kick in prime JWP territory. Up steps JWP
and I know where he’s aiming, everyone in the ground knows where he’s aiming
and Ben Foster knows where is aiming. Bang, over the wall and though Foster
gets a touch, it rips into the near top corner. Fucking get in.

There are still eight minutes to go plus all the time that will be added on for
what Watford were wasting before we scored. Of course now all the pressure is
coming from Watford and we stand firm just about but of course there are alarms.  A corner, cleared, another corner, half
cleared, head tennis and pinball and right at the end, the ball is up in the
air and pinging around the penalty area and Andre Gray has a free volley from
the penalty spot and smashes it about a foot wide. Fucking hell.

Thank fuck for that. I’ve got nothing else to say really
apart from thank fuck for that.  Relief more
than celebration.

That second half was exactly how we should be playing against the weaker teams
at home. Just go for it and give the ball to the guys who can make the
difference in the final third. Swarm all over the opposition and put them under
pressure and most of the time, because they are shit and near the bottom of the
league for a reason, they will crack.

The first half was as bad as the first half against Everton with everybody
completely static and everything being played in front of the Watford back 10.  So easy to defend against. It all changed with
the introduction of Boufal who every time you got the ball, beat the first defender
which meant the second one had to come out which created gaps in behind for the
other players to exploit. As I said a couple weeks ago, we don’t really have
any idea how to attack against a packed defence so we have to rely on
individual brilliance and today it came from Boufal and in the second half of
it came from Djenepo. This is the same Djenepo who was absolutely dreadful in
the first half and I don’t think anybody would have been complaining if he had
been substituted.  It was a bit of a
surprise to see Redmond replaced but he had been dreadful and to be honest, he
has been pretty poor all season. It was still however, quite a brave move by
Ralph to take off the player who could be seen as the most senior of our wide
players.  Still, the fact that Redders
had a wobbler and then watched his replacement change the game is also a good
lesson in humility. The other sub that came on of course with Shane Long and
despite missing an absolute sitter, he made a difference as well giving us some
sort of physical presence upfront.  Middleweight
Boxer Obafemi looked well out of his depth today.