Looks Like He Did Actually Play, Kind Of.

There is something about the Will Still appointment as manager of Saints that I can’t quite get my head around. I initially thought that it was maybe the fact that he is 25 years younger than me and whilst that does indeed grate a bit in a humourous way, it’s not a big deal and I’m used to it. After all, Russell Martin was only a few years older than Will. So what is it? I’m beginning to think it’s the fact that he has never been a player.  The vast majority managers we’ve had since I started going to games in 1976, have been a professional player of some description and I was aware of their playing career before they became a  manager. Since Lawrie McMenemy, who was possibly our best ever manager, the only other non-player is on the shortlist to be our worst ever manager (in a very crowded field) and that’s Ruben Selles. Having had a decent playing career however does not of course make you automatically become a great manager and there are so many examples of that kicking about – Wayne Rooney being the most obvious recent example.

So anyway, I went down a bit of a rabbit hole of our ex-managers and their playing career and thought I’d try and come up with an 11 based on their playing careers.  We had some top players as managers and also some others who didn’t quite scale the heights.

GOALKEEPER

Nigel – By Default, Draw a Blue Line Under It and Move On

The easiest choice is in goal because we have only had one goalkeeper as a manager before and that of course is Nigel Adkins. In an ideal world you’d have a better goalkeeper than someone who has played exclusively in the lower reaches of the English league and in the Welsh league but if you’ve only got one keeper to choose from, then that’s who you have to pick. Hopefully, if the rest of the team is good enough, he won’t have too much to do…. And luckily for Nigel, it is.

FULL BACKS

Statistically, he was the best in Europe.

At left back you have a few kicking around like Stuart Gray (Forest, Barnsley, Villa and 20 odd games for Saints) and of course the mercurial Nathan Jones. Nathan Jones was very fond of talking about his playing career as a left back, but on that side there is only one real choice and thankfully it’s not him.  It’s a man who was an absolutely shocking manager, but as a player, he started at left back in a World Cup Final.  Yep, in 1978 in the Dutch era of total football, Jan Poortvliet started in a World Cup Final.  Nathan Jones’ storied career at Southend, Yeovil and Brighton (when they were shit) doesn’t quite make the cut when compared to that. You should see his stats though, and he was the fittest player ever.

On the right you can have either Russell Martin or Ian Branfoot, and apparently Mark Wotte was a full back, but it really has to go to George Burley he had a long and successful career, playing over 400 games in that very good Ipswich side of the late 70s and early 80s and was a full international for Scotland, winning 11 caps, of course, back when Scotland were decent.

CENTRE BACKS

“I tell you – what you don’t want to do is pick me for this side“

In the centre of defence there are a lot of choices. You can go back to the 60s and look at Dave Merrington (nearly 100 appearances for Burnley in the old Division 1), or the 70s and Dave Jones (nearly 100 games for Everton). There are other solid pros like Nigel Pearson (550 appearances in mainly the top two divisions). In direct contrast to Nathan Jones, Russell Martin always talked down his playing career but when you look at it, over 500 games across all four divisions and 29 caps for Scotland, really isn’t bad. A manager we had that many forget, mainly because he was dreadful as a manager, is Mauricio Pellegrino, who can list Barcelona, Valencia and Liverpool amongst his clubs and 3 caps for Argentina.

Where it gets difficult is picking between Chris Nicholl and Mauricio Pochettino. Chris was a rock solid defender in a career that boasted over 700 appearances across the divisions, including 228 appearances for Saints, as well as 51 caps for Northern Ireland. Pochettino, who made 20 appearances for Argentina and despite the fact that he’s mostly remembered for being dived over by Michael Owen, he clearly wasn’t bad, as over 500 games for Espanyol, PSG and Bordeaux would testify. After much debate I’ve gone for Chris. The other centre back needs no thinking about as it’s Ronald Koeman. Ronald is a must If you look at over 500 games across the Dutch and Spanish leagues, trophies all over the place especially at Barcelona, and 78 Dutch caps and winning Euro 1988. Oh, and he scored nearly 200 goals, which is absurd.

MIDFIELD

Hello Ladies!

We’ve had a number of former midfielders as managers but the debate as to who should go in this team is really quite clear cut. First, those who dont make it, like Ivan Juric, who had five caps for Croatia and Claude Puel who had a long career in France as a one club man at Monaco, racking up over 600 appearances. You also have old ball sack face himself, in Harry Redknapp who played on the right wing for West Ham in the 60s and is fond of telling stories of hanging around with Bobby Moore. Alan Pardew (Palace and Charlton) and Steve Wigley (Forest, Birmingham and the Skates) are also worth a mention but in truth they don’t get anywhere near the team.

So, who gets in? Well, Alan Ball, with nearly 1000 professional appearances including 230-odd for Saints and oh yes, he won the World Cup with England in 1966, on his way to 72 caps. Graeme Souness won everything with Liverpool and got 54 Scottish caps and was also, one of the hardest bastards I’ve ever seen on a football pitch. Gordon Strachan had a trophy laden career at Aberdeen, Manchester United and Leeds, spread over 850 odd games as well has 50 caps for Scotland and making up the four, you have Glenn Hoddle, one of the most gifted English players to ever play the game. 700 appearances, mainly for Spurs and 3 caps for England when he should have got nearer 100. With those four, everyone else can go and take their place on the bench and sit there quietly. Due to the fact that these four are so much better than the other choices, there are no wingers needed, which is another reason to rule out Redknapp, along with all the personality related reasons. So, diamond formation with Souness at the base, Ball and Strachan just in front of him and then Hoddle as the number 10. It’s not bad is it?

FORWARDS

We’re not playing 4-2-2-2 I’m afraid

Up front there is one name that stands out and that is Mark Hughes – Manchester United, Bayern Munich, Barcelona, Manchester United again and when he was on the way down, Chelsea, Southampton and a few others. 799 appearances overall plus another 72 for Wales – but who partners him. Basically it’s a choice between a target man or a smaller striker. Another manager who was very disparaging towards his own playing career was Ralph Hasenhuttl but with 8 caps for Austria and 3 goals and a career of club football in Austria, Germany and Belgium, he’s in with a shout, but I think the second striking berth goes to a man with 20 caps for Scotland and over 570 appearances for his only club, Dundee United in the top division in Scotland, scoring 170 goals in the process – Paul Sturrock. As a result, Ralph is left to wait his turn on the bench, where he can sit and read his playbook until it’s time for him to grace the pitch.

So, here it is…. Starting XI

Subs

Choose any 9 from these 16 to sit on the bench next to you. Actually it’s 9 from 14 because there’s at least a couple of them who you couldn’t stand to be near for 90 minutes. My bench choices would be Hasenhuttl, Pochettino, Merrington, Martin, Puel, Pearson, Pardew, Juric and Gray.

Nathan Jones can be a ball boy. Statistically, he’d be the best ball boy in Europe.