Russell
Martin doesn’t seem to think so but I don’t think you’ll find many supporters
who don’t believe this game isn’t a shit or bust type of scenario. It could be
quite a defining day today because all of the bottom six are playing each
other. For us, today is surely the day where we have our best chance to get off
the mark regarding the win column in the table.

There hasn’t been much fallout from the Stoke game, just an acknowledgement
amongst most of the fan base that we didn’t play particularly well and even
though it was six different players to usual and many substitutes who don’t
play often, it did bring an element of gloom because of our lack of threat in
attack. Hopefully, today will be like the first half against Leicester and we
make the Everton defence work a bit.

Everton will be a tough nut to crack. They started the season appallingly and
then won their first game against Crystal Palace, backed up with a win against
Ipswich and are undefeated in five games. The Sean Dyche lead outfit was always
going to do this. If you look at their team, it is full of hardened Premier
League players who might not be good enough to get the club anywhere near the
top half of the table but they will be good enough to keep her away from the
bottom. The likes of Jordan Pickford, James Tarkowski, Michael Keane, Jack
Harrison, Abdoulaye Doucoure, Idrissa Gana Gaye, Dwight McNeil and Dominic
Calvert-Lewin are all decent enough to ensure the Everton start next season in
their new ground in the Premier League.

Historically, Everton have never been out of the top flight of English football
but in the last few seasons, have sailed pretty close to the wind.  Last season they got deducted points for PSR
breaches and still managed to stay up.  I
like the way that the responded to losing ten points by winning the next three
games, staying out of the relegation zone and sticking a proverbial two fingers
up at the league.  They weren’t
particularly hard done by as the club had been badly run for years but they so
seem to have been judged more harshly than others, who continue to get away
with it.

On my walk to the ground, I’m earwigging other supporters and I hear a lot of ‘shit
or bust’, ‘have to win’ and the more prosaic ‘lose this and we’re royally
fucked’.  Team news and weird – five at
the back at home.  I guess we’re looking
to be solid with both Stephens and Manning starting.  Tyler Dibling is on the bench and Adam
Armstrong starting instead of him.  Adam
Lallana again keeps Joe Aribo on the bench. 
Everton for their part have left out Jack Harrison but it’s more or less
what I expect.  Abdoulaye Doucoure isn’t playing,
which is probably the only they only way that he wouldn’t be scoring against us
today.  Is he forgiven for the Watford
handball goal yet?  No.

The game starts and nothing happens, followed by more nothing, followed by
Everton players taking it in turns to go down for no reason at all.  It all follows the same pattern in that there
is a challenge, the Everton player stays down, the referee Andy Madley, brother
of Bobby the Dog Botherer, stops the game, the physio is about to come on and
in the Everton player springs back to his feet. Strange to be time-wasting in
the first half against a team that hasn’t won in ten games.

There is another strange incident on 20 minutes when the ball gets played up to
Calvert-Lewin and under challenge from THB, he falls on the ball and grabs it.
Referee Andy Madley gives a free-kick to Saints for handball which clearly
boils the piss of some of the Everton players, particularly James Tarkowski who
then steams straight through Cameron Archer on the halfway line with the ball
in the SO15 postcode, not the SO14 postcode where St Mary‘s actually is.  Horrible challenge and it’s just a yellow card
we’re off to Stockley Park.

“Hi Andy”
“Come on chaps, quick review needed”
“Well, it satisfies every criteria for a red …”
“Too slow… just a yellow then”

Away we go again and neither team has got any quality going forward. From a
Saints perspective, whenever we get the ball in the wide areas through Adam
Armstrong or Ryan Manning, the ball into the box at best could be classed as a
hit and hope. Poor, very poor.  On about
40 minutes we being to play with some intent. 
KWP looks forward and picks out Downes running behind the Everton
midfield.  He passes the ball through and
Archer has a lot to do from about forty yards out but he backs him self against
Keane gets to the edge of the box and fires across Pickford but wide of the far
post.

Downes again drives through for midfield and finds Adam Armstrong and it looks
like he actually picks someone out this time but Pickford gets something on the
cross of takes it away from Manning who can only fall in a comedy heap on the
ground.  Manning’s involved again a few
seconds later as Fernandes puts him away down the left and he puts over a
decent ball first time which is knocked behind by Mykolenko. Over comes the
corner and our goal magnet THB, rises at the back post but can only nod it wide.

Half-time and that in the main has been a painful after football between two
teams with no attacking quality. It becomes apparent that Lallana has managed
as much as he can and so on comes Joe Aribo. As the game restarts, Everton seem
to have come out with bits of gravel in their collective ear, from a Sean Dyche
half time grilling.

Mykolenko swings across into the box which goes over everybody and find Ashley
Young on the far side.  He passes across
the top of the penalty are where Mangala decides to stop throwing himself to
the ground for a second and smashes in a shot through a crowd of bodies and
Ramsdale sees it late but reacts brilliantly to knock it over the bar.

It’s turning into a better game now, with KWP playing a lovely forward pass to
meet the run of Archer who was unceremoniously from to the ground by Michael Keane.
Manning’s free kick is either low deliberately or not very good, and it bounces
out of the magnet THB but blocked away for a corer which we do nothing with.

An hour gone and with Saints still desperately needing quality at the top end
of the pitch, Ryan Manning is replaced with Tyler Dibling.  Stephens is now a conventional left back and Dibling
immediately gets involved and the Everton defence starts stitting itself as he
runs at them and plays a nice ball down the side to KWP and his cross fizzes to
Armstrong at the back post but he can only volley over the bar.

The feeling that this is going to go the way of whichever team wants it and
Everton come alive again with Lindstram putting in a cross from the left and
Michael Keane is somehow completely free at the back post and has a point blank
header…. nooooo…. brilliantly saved down low by the post by Ramsdale and it
bobbles around and somehow Rambo shovels it wide.

Dibling is making a real difference on the right and combines again with KWP
with a full back again picking out Armstrong at the back post and this time he
seems caught in tow minds between lashing it wide and heading it wide and he
eventually chooses the latter option.  To
be fair, the cross had some serious pace on it.

Everton have sent on Beto in place of Calvert-Lewin who has been completely
anonymous.  No strength in the challenges
and I don’t remember him winning a header all game.  Beto is a different beast however and after a
Saints attack comes to nothing, Everton clear it out to Beto on the left who is
in a foot race with Bednarek.  Beto is
obviously going to win and Bednarek brings him down and it’s a clear yellow card.
THB looks like he’s on the cover and we’re off to VAR.

“Hi Andy – potential denial of a goalscoring opportunity there”
“Really – I thought the defender was on the cover”
“Not sure – we’ll try and make your decision correct for you – light touch and
all that”
“Good lads”
[pause]
“Ok, we’ve got a decision.  The cover is
half a pitch away and isn’t getting there”
“Oh…”
“…. But it’s Beto …. and he’s shite so technically…”
“Shite?”
“Yes, Shite… so it isn’t a goalscoring opportunity… because he’s shite and
would have missed”
“Love it lads – so I was right?”
“Yes… and you’ve got to get out of the ground without Dyche getting hold of you”


So, panic over and now just a free kick to deal with.  Lindstram puts it in and Ramsdale pushes it
wide easily enough.

Jack Stephens has been having a bit of a nightmare in the second half,
continually giving the ball away and is replaced with Sugawara with KWP moving
to the other side. Sugawara immediately gets caught out of position and McNeil
puts in a lovely cross which Harrison gets to before Ramsdale… and it drops
just wide as St Mary’s breathes a collective “oh fuck”.

More problems down our right as Dibling gives the ball away and picks up
another yellow for pulling back a player. In it come is the cost of the back
post with Michael Keane has got free and he cushion volleys a cross onto the
head of Beto, who is five yards out and he manages to hit the bar.  Thank fuck for that… Fernandes runs the ball
out of the danger area down our left and swaps passes with Aribo before
switching it right via THB to Sugawara who takes a second and pulls back a
perfect ball along the top of the penalty area to meet the run of Adam
Armstrong who smashes it first time down the middle of the goal past Pickford.  You fucking beauty and 1-0… 85 minutes gone.

Now it’s just a case of concentrating and we of course don’t do that as Young
plays a 60 ball over the top of the defence and Beto takes a brilliant touch
before slotting into the net. For fuck‘s sake… 
it looked miles offside but the flag hasn’t gone up and we’re off to VAR
again.

“Andy… we speak again”
“Check offside on the goal please lads. 
That shite Beto has just scored”
“Agh – this is going to take ages”
“Why?”
“Because VAR was designed to focus on the end where the goal was scored”
“Of course – why’s that an issue?”
“Because it’s fucking Dyche-ball smashing the ball from one end to the
other.  We have to print off two screens,
stick them together with tape, get the fucking protractor a ruler out, blue
line, red line and all that.”
[Time goes by]
“Andy, we have a decision – offside”
“I’ll tell Janny B and he can tell the crowd”


Bednarek is giving it the big one before the official scoreboard announcement.  Get in… or out… or whatever.

By the time we get going again it’s 93 minutes and there are at least six to
go. Big Les and Tall Paul are on for Fernandes and Archer, so our team has just
got approximately two foot taller.  Madley
gives us the shits one more time by giving a free kit for nothing against Tall
Paul and then booking him for good measure.  In it comes with Pickford, cleared away as far
as Adam Armstrong and finally the whistle goes and that’s it.

Get in. Relief.

Finally, we’ve won a fucking league game. 
To be honest, as I said before, it really doesn’t matter how we got over
the line but the fact of the matter is that we did and that really is all that
counts.

The first 40 minutes was pretty dreadful from both sides with absolutely zero
attacking quality on display.  Every time
Saints got into an area where they could deliver a pass in towards the strikers
it was aimlessly smashed across the box, usually picking out an Everton
defender with Adam Armstrong and Ryan Manning being the worst culprits. Everton
did nothing except slowing the game down, mainly through feigning injury.  The second half was better as a game and we
were grateful to Aaron Ramsdale keeping us in it with two or three excellent
saves. Our quality in the attacking third only improved with the introduction
of Tyler Dibling and Yuki Sugawara for Manning and Stevens and it was Sugawara who
got his head up and picked out Adam Armstrong’s excellent run in from the left
wing, goal, 1-0, nice finish.  Even though
there was 85 on the clock at that point, we still managed to completely doze
off and we got incredibly lucky that Beto’s effort was ruled out after a VAR
check that seemed to take about three days.

As far as Russell Martin is concerned, I thought the tactics at the start of
the game and the team selection were a bit questionable but the end result
justified the means because we got to the hour mark at 0-0 and the subs came on
and changed us as an attacking force.  Having
got it all wrong against Leicester, today he got the substitutions right,
particularly with Sugawara and Dibling but also at the end, throwing on the physically
imposing Big Les and Tall Paul to combat the inevitable Everton aerial
bombardment. Joe Aribo had come on for Lallana at half time and against City
last week, he didn’t look like he was at the pace of the game at all, but today
he was right on it from the moment he stepped on the pitch.

Sean Dyche is a manager who is the epitome of everything old school football
where everyone was a tough bastard. As everyone knows, he sounds like he gargles
broken glass for breakfast wash down with a pint of gravy.  He’s a tough boy and his ‘Utter Woke Nonsense’
meme is legendary, so he should be absolutely embarrassed by the way his Everton
players collapse for absolutely no reason.  It’s obviously pre-planned as well because
they stay down just until the physio is about to come on and then spring to
their feet again. Why referees don’t book them for that, I have no idea. Dyche
had a good old moan about the fact the Bednarek wasn’t sent off but he didn’t
mention the ridiculous tackle by Tarkowski on Archer which is a red card
offence by any definition. Out of control, excessive force, nowhere near the
ball, ticks every box but I’m not sure it was even viewed.  As for the Bednarek decision in isolation, I
feel that we got a little bit fortunate and on another day that would have been
a red.  At the time I thought THB was
clearly covering but when you see a replay of it, he was miles away.

So, we had the bit of luck today that you need to get over the line.  You can say that ‘offside is offside’ and
that’s not luck… but it was bloody close. 
I still think VAR should be binned and I loved not having it in the
Championship, but we have to be grateful for it today, even though it did take
an age to arrive at the decision that ultimately won us the game.

We wouldn’t have even been in the position to win the game if it wasn’t for Aaron
Ramsdale, who was brilliant today.  The
save from Michael Keane’s header alone was enough to make him man of the
match.  It’s massive for him to get a
clean sheet as well and this is what we brought him in for, to keep us in games
and give us the chance of picking up points. 
We of course, spent big money on him by our standards and it’s a
compelling evidence to back up the ‘you get what you pay for’ angle on transfer
dealings.  Not always the case of course
but maybe signing one good player instead of three average ones is the way to
go in future.

I am pleased for Russell Martin, pleased for the players and pleased for all
the supporters including myself. Every win for a team like us can only be
achieved by being dogged, by keeping your head up and by having a bit of luck.
Today we earned the luck, mainly Everton hitting the bar which led directly to
us breaking up the other end of the pitch and scoring. This could very easily
have been another demoralising defeat but we got over the line and won the game
and we can all look upwards and going to the game next week against Wolves with
a bit of confidence.

With the other two games involving the bottom six ended in draws, we were the
major winners this Saturday and closed up a bit on the teams above us. A win
next week and maybe we can start believing.

Up the fucking Saints.