In this season, when the main goal is, of course, to secure promotion back to the Premier League, an FA Cup quarter-final was not really on the bingo card. There has been much talk this season about getting back to the Premier League and, subsequently, much discussion about what we like about the Championship and what we dislike about the Premier League. One of the things we dislike about the Premier League is, of course, the huge clubs and the fan bases that come with them. Today we play Arsenal, which embodies everything we can dislike about the Premier League all wrapped up in one package: horrible fan base—check, a questionable manager—check, and more money than sense—check. On top of that, they are going to win the Premier League this year barring a colossal disaster at the end of the season.

What is strange about Arsenal this year is that they haven’t won it for many years. Usually, football fans, in general, would hope they win the title instead of Manchester City, who seem to win it virtually every year. For some reason, though, no one outside of Arsenal’s fan base wants them to win it. They won’t care, of course, but it points to the fact that they and Mikel Arteta, in particular, are quite unlikable.

To their credit, they seem to have found a new way to bamboozle referees and VAR this season, which is essentially to commit as many fouls in the six-yard box as possible whenever a corner is perfectly fizzed across the box by Declan Rice. The logic seems to be that the sheer amount of offences, combined with the fact that it happens at every single corner, means that referees and VAR just can’t be bothered to get involved because they all want to go home at some point.

Teamwise, we have no idea what team Arsenal will put out this week, as they have been pulling players out of international duty left, right, and centre. Eleven at the last count – it’s not even subtle. No doubt all eleven won’t be available this weekend – my arse. With a Champions League game against Sporting Lisbon coming up on Tuesday, I would anticipate them fielding a largely second-string side. However, when you write down the names of those who are likely to be involved, it’s still a good enough team to finish comfortably in the top half of the Premier League and probably challenge for a Champions League spot. My rough guess for their line-up is as follows: Kepa, White, Mosquera, Calafiori, Lewis-Skelly, Eze, Norgaard, Havertz, Martinelli, Madueke, Jesus.

Our side is, of course, going to be changed out of necessity. We too have a vital game on Tuesday night, away at Wrexham, but we also have suspensions with both Flynn Downes and Kuryu Matsuki unavailable for this game. I believe we will take this match seriously, as we are on the long unbeaten run, and also because the 50th anniversary of the FA Cup win in 1976 seems to carry more weight than I ever thought it would. As I mentioned in previous rounds, we have done enough already to pay respects to the 50th anniversary, and potentially getting defeated by the team that’s currently top of the Premier League would not detract from that.

Can we pull anything from history? Not many will remember the last time we played Arsenal in the FA Cup because no one was there. St Mary’s in 2021 saw Saints win 1-0 with an own goal by Gabriel putting us through. That year we got to the semi-final before not turning up against Leicester in front of a crowd of 4000. Covid football was shit.

Last time v Arsenal in front of a crowd was in 2018 at home in the 4th Round and Claude Puel made ten changes and Arsenal’s second string battered us 5-0 in what was a massive waste of time and money for everyone who paid to go and watch. Theo Walcott scored more goals in that game than he did in his entire return to us a couple of years after.

Before that it was 2003, which was of course the year of the Final in Cardiff, which was a brilliant day in all but the result as we lost 1-0 to a Robert Pires goal. Claus hitching a ride on Thierry’s shirt was an early highlight but though we kept it relatively tight after that early scare, we didn’t do enough to warrant winning it. A late shot from Brett Ormerod that saw Seaman produce a decent save was kind of it. What I remember though is the wall of yellow and the fact that there were more Saints fans than Arsenal fans in the ground when the trophy got presented, such was the entitlement of Arsenal fans back then.

With regards to today I keep thinking about “what if?” What if we can somehow pull off a surprise today and get to a Wembley semi-final? Wouldn’t that be something this year of all years? As a bonus – Wouldn’t it be amusing that Arsenal and Arteta would be lambasted as bottle jobs, especially after their Carabao Cup Final defeat the other week. Wouldn’t it be amusing to watch the performative over-reaction of Arsenal fans all over the internet. Oh, and Piers Morgan. The most likely outcome of course is that we narrowly get beat but if we do… who cares? If the game goes south at any point then I would fully support taking players off and resting them for Tuesday, but as we stand before the game, let’s fucking go for it.

Yellows!