It’s been nice to have a week off in preparation for the first leg of the play-off semi-final at the Riverside Stadium in Middlesbrough. I’m sure everyone wanted a nice quiet week off anyway, where the only focus is on training and getting ready for the first leg of this season defining semi-final.

That was how it was going until Thursday, when a story broke in the Daily Mail, that a Saints first team staffer had been caught filming a Middlesbrough training session. The parts of the story that were presented as fact were that he had been spotted filming on a mobile device, had deleted the footage and was ejected from the training ground… only it wasn’t the training ground, it was a vantage point from outside the training ground that was accessible to the public. It’s not as if he/she broke in anywhere or even climbed a tree or hid in a bush. Chinese whispers then of course took place and the implication was that the spy had been captured, that he was in a hotel, that he was in a car driving south and a load of other bollocks as every media outlet fought to put their own exclusive spin on it. By close of play on Thursday the story and the probable exaggeration was huge.

No fan had an inside track as to what went on, but of course it had been enough to get Middlesbrough fans up in arms as you’d expect. It gives them something to be pissed about if they lose I guess. My first instinct as is always the case with these things is to look at the source. Lads, it’s the Daily Mail, possibly the most untrustworthy of any mainstream source when it comes to football stories, especially the sensationalist kind of stories.

Friday and of course everyone in the mainstream media is piling in. The Telegraph – another on my personal ‘not trusted’ list are going with that it was a military level reconnaissance mission with spy equipment that could hear and see everything all the way from the vantage point to Newcastle. All the shite is raining down now but no facts to go with it and I’m still firmly in the ‘bullshit’ camp.

As Friday went on, it was reported that the EFL have contacted us for comment and as we got to the evening, the EFL announced that we have been charged with spying, basically, in direct contravention of the rules that were brought in after the Leeds offence in 2019. Not bullshit then.

Here come the guesses at potential ramifications with this and fines and points deductions are the obvious ones. Because we live in the times we do and logic and reason are not in plentiful supply and depending on who you listen to, we should be thrown out of the playoffs, the game tomorrow should be cancelled and awarded 3-0 to Boro, Tonda Eckert should be paraded through the streets of Middlesbrough and pelted with rotten fruit etc. Regardless – if true, why the fuck have we done this? What a brilliant act of self sabotage when things were going well. Oh look here’s a gun, I wonder if it’s loaded? I know, I’ll point it at my foot and pull the trigger and see what happens…. oh shit!

Back in the logical world, I’m pondering that potentially the issue about jurisdiction between the EFL and the FA, like Leicester had, might be a thing.. Can an offence committed in the EFL, be acted upon by the FA in the event of us being in the Premier League next season. Of more concern right now, we have given Middlesbrough a massive incentive and leg up in this semi-final that we were probably clear favourites to win based on recent form, and not getting promoted will cost the club millions and that won’t be forgiven and it’s very easy to see that the fan base will pin that on Sport Republic again.

So, there is almost certainly some truth in it and assuming there is, then we are fucking stupid for going down this road. If we have been involved, then we deserve to be punished and the precedent with Leeds, who did this a few of years ago was a £200,000 fine for repeated offences, a case which ushered in the rule we’ve allegedly broken, which is banning filming of a training session within 72 hours of a game.. I keep coming back to why? They’ve won two out of their last eleven and we are unbeaten in twenty. Why the need for this bollocks?

I don’t want to believe that we’re guilty but I equally don’t want to believe that anyone would just make shit up. It is going to be the story of the game however, regardless of the result. This story broke after Tonda had done his press conference so there have been no words from the club about this whole thing. Absolute shitshow.

Everyone reacts differently of course when their club very obviously does ‘something’ wrong. When Leeds committed their offence, their fans almost universally just stuck two fingers up and went “We are Leeds, we do what we want”. I don’t think Southampton people in general are particularly like that. Almost all will be embarrassed at the actions of the club, whatever the level of the breach of rules. For me personally, I’ve spent the last three years calling Leicester cheats, and here we are by definition, being exactly the same. If the cap fits one, it must fit the other and you have to take ownership of it, once it’s proven. It’s probably clear at this point that we are not squeaky clean. There’s the goodwill as well – No, I don’t really care about one of the clubs fans think about us as that’s the preserve Liverpool weirdos, but we impressed everyone at Wembley last month and in general we’ve always been pretty inoffensive, but now everyone is going to think that we are cheating bastards, creating a ‘local derby’ style rivalry with a club 300 miles away, who previously would not have had a bad word to say about us.

And now, the football.

Saints are going to this game with the return of Flynn Downes after suspension and he will certainly start today and will make a massive difference to the centre of our midfield, which has been a bit too easy to play through in the last few games in his absence. There are still question marks over the involvement of Jack Stephens and Kuryu Matsuki, but there is certainly adequate cover for both in the shape of Nathan Wood and Tom Fellows. A lot of the focus today will be on Finn Azaz, seeing that he left Middlesbrough at the start of the season to join us, which they were not particularly happy about and have been giving him shit about ever since, especially in the game that we played at the Riverside when unfortunately for Finn, we got smashed 4-0 and deservedly so. Finn didn’t exactly do himself any favours by not accepting the defeat in a very gracious manner as he stormed off the pitch at the end. Finn has a point approve in this game because in both games against Middlesbrough so far this season, he has not been too clever when the muck and bullets have been flying and he’s had no time on the ball. I expect him to do better in the game today though it was always going to be the kind of game where tackles would be flying in from the first minute.

With it being a two legged affair of course, The aim is to get out of here and back to St Mary’s either level or in front and finish the job at home. I feel the Saints have got to be favourites to handle the pressure of this particular game. As the pressure has mounted on Middlesbrough as the season drew to a close, they have not done the business with just two wins out of eleven and those two wins coming against Sheffield Wednesday and Watford, a team that finished this season not exactly 0 points and a team who basically didn’t give a shit over the last month for the season. Middlesbrough have struggled since the injury to Hayden Hackney occurred and though he is supposed to be close, there is no way he’s going to play a full part in these two games. I feel that we have the confidence, the form and the players to achieve the objective in this particular tie.

When we got stuffed up here at the Riverside last time around, the stand-out players were Morgan Whittaker up front who helped himself to two goals and making his debut that Day was Adilson Melanda, who has proved to be a very good acquisition over the second half of the season. Another couple of notable players in the Boro squad are our former fullback Matt Targett, who was had a decent season on loan from Newcastle, and Luke Ayling, formally of Leeds who now anchors the Middlesbrough defence. He was in the news a couple of weeks ago when Ipswich were awarded a very dodgy penalty for a dive against them, saying that it was a disgrace and all that stuff. Anyone who’s followed Luke Ayling’s career will know just how hypocritical that outburst was, bearing in mind he’s a guy who is famous for flopping to the ground under minimal contact. Yes, it was an incredibly soft penalty that was awarded but have some self-awareness at least. One thing we could target today is the goalkeeper Sol Brynn, who always looks very flaky whenever I’ve seen him play.

To the day and footage emerges of the Saints coach arriving with Boro fans giving it all the vitriol you’d expect. You Cheating Bastards, You Know What You Are etc. Team news and we are exactly as expected with Cyle Larin upfront, Flynn Downes restored to the midfield and Tom Fellows on the right wing.

Boro have of course got their tails up and start the quicker with Conway skipping in from the left wing before sliding a ball into McGee whose effort is blocked wide for a corner by THB. When it comes in, it’s met by Whittaker and headed over the bar.

Far from now getting into it Saints are passively doing fuck all, not pressing high and not being particularly tight without defending in front of our own penalty area. Morris is given the opportunity to thread ball through to pick up a run from Whittaker and he makes his way to the edge of the box before lashing over the bar.

Matt Targett gets Conway away down the left and his cross goes the other side where it’s retrieved by Brittain, who bursts past Manning as if he wasn;t there and his low cross squirts across the goal with no one able to get a touch to it. It literally is all Middlesbrough who are playing at 100 miles an hour, whilst we are playing walking football.

We are making Luke Ayling look like a cross between Franco Baresi and Franz Beckenbauer at the moment as he strolls out of defence picking up a loose ball, and he manages to waltz past about three half arsed challenges and gets as far as about 15 yards out before drilling an angled effort wide of the far post. We seem to be half asleep.

Whittaker then runs through two more non-existent tackles in our area before playing the low cross along the 6 yard box and Conway has to score but he takes a touch, which allows Bree to get close to him and it flies off for a corner of the block. Shit play from Conway, who had to hit that first time.

And then, we actually touch the fucking ball as Cyle actually controls one and knocks it off to Scienza. He gets is back and lurches the wrong way before being knocked off the ball. We’ve overcommitted with the promise of an actual attack and suddenly Boro have a three on two break. McGree feeds it to Conway on the edge of the D who seems to have half the pitch to himself and his side footed effort is round Peretz and pinging off the inside of the post and coming out. It’s a good job his finishing has not been very good. Conway retrieves the loose ball and Boro work themselves and other crossing opportunity and the Saints players are just standing off horribly and are very fortunate that Morris just curls it straight out of play for a goal kick.

For all the opportunity, Peretz hasn’t had to make a save yet. We however are not getting any better at all and from a Boro corner, there is a massive scramble which sees the ball smacked goalwards by Conway and Peretz has to plunge to his left to keep the ball out and we managed to belt it clear again. Still no pressure on the ball and no winning of the second ball and Boro work it back again to Targett on the edge of the box and the IQ-Challenged former Saints fizzes one along the ground towards the far bottom corner but Peretz gets across again to save well. Another shot comes in from Morris and Larin is back in the middle of the penalty area and block it away again. With Larin back there, of course we can’t get out, even if we did win a second ball.

Bloody hell it’s half time and we have somewhere arrived here without conceding. We have contributed absolutely nothing to the game so far apart from desperate defending. Any chance we can get involved and win a second ball at some point or string a couple of passes together?

The second half starts and there has undoubtedly been a change with Saints suddenly finding more space. Jander finds Scienza on the left and we work a crossing position for Manning and he belts it low along the 6 yard line but Larin is back on his heels and no one else is anywhere near as it hits a defender and plops down to the goalkeeper.

We are suddenly getting to the second balls, with Manning‘s ball down the left being cleared by Fry and picked up by Jander ahead of Ayling, no longer looking like the Baresi/Beckenbauer hybrid and we work it out so Fellows on the right who does his signature move against Matt Targett, who of course buys it and the cross stands up to the back post and Larin gets up and produces a quite frankly piss poor header wide of the near post.

An hour in and Ross Stewart is on for the struggling Larin and Saints are suddenly making the ball stick up front. Scienza cuts in from the left and goes for his usual effort to the back post but it flies miles over the bar. With that, Flynn Downes and Tom Fellows are withdrawn and on come Charles and Matsuki.

There’s a momentary concern with Alan Browne going for a huge twisting and turning dive in the corner of our area but referee Farai Hallam isn’t buying that one. It’s a momentary concern and THB chips a lovely ball out to the left to Manning who takes it down and waits for the challenge from Sarmiento, who brainlessly barges him in the back. This is prime ‘Manning again’ assist territory and he plays in the usual wonderful cross which THB meets unmarked and thumps his header and it crashes back out off the bar.

The final sub is to withdraw the disappointing Scienza and replace him with Sam Edozie and as we reach 90, Middlesbrough attack down the left and it breaks down before Shea Charles does some brilliant work to run the ball out of defence and send Stewart away on the right. Stewart plays it into the middle first time and Edozie gets their first, allows the defender to slide by him and then shoots at the far post and we’re all waiting for the net to bulge and fuck, it goes about an inch wide. For fuck sake. The amount of piss that would’ve boiled cannot be measured in gallons.

Well it would’ve been amazing from a shithousing point of view to have won it in the last few minutes but not to be, and we take a very decent result to St Marys for the second leg on Tuesday night. No one seems to care about that though and for obvious reasons, the actual game isn’t the story.

The first half was exactly what I expected after the spy gate thing with Middlesbrough totally dominating and flying into every thing and winning every second ball. I wasn’t however, expecting us to not lay a glove on them. The amount of suffering we did in that first half, in particular with Tommy Conway‘s two missed chances paved the way for the second half though, where we were better almost instantly and pretty much held sway for the rest of the game as Boro seemed to blow themselves out with their first half efforts. The second half was much better in part due to the substitutions that were made. Cyle Larin had a stinker of a game and his replacement Ross Stewart did much better at holding the ball up and linking play, which enable us to get higher up the pitch. Flynn Downes had barely touched the ball on his return to the side and had managed to get himself booked of course and Charles coming on made a big difference as well, allowing Jander to get on the ball more and for Shea to show his quality in the middle of the pitch with some brilliant play that led to the late Edozie chance. Tonda and the players will feel that they could and should have won having got to half time level with the header by THB and the effort from Edozie being the times when we of course, could’ve nicked a goal, which would have caused the biggest meltdown ever.

The manager interview interviews afterwards were interesting in that Tonda completely and utterly didn’t answer any questions other than about the game. There were a couple of cursory questions about the game itself and as soon as possible it was onto Spygate and it’s one of those pointless things – the interviewer has to ask and we all know there is going to be no answer, because there can’t be. To Kim Hellberg – he started off really well and spoke common sense about the fact that it’s not the players fault and it’s not the fan’s fault and he felt a bit sorry for Saints players and fans as a result of what had gone on. He was making so much common sense that Sky ended the interview, probably because it didn’t fit their narrative. In later interviews though, Hellberg kept talking and it was about the way other clubs should be annoyed about it as well, which is based on absolutely no evidence whatsoever, and is therefore a bit of a wild accusation. It does mean that everyone is talking about that and not about how Hellberg has taken a team that was second and made them finish fifth, has only won two games out of the last twelve.

Middlesbrough fans are properly pissing me off now. There are plenty demanding that the punishment benefits them and that they get a bye through to the final. The noise has of course ramped up with them not getting the result they wanted today. That’s not how punishments work you fucking morons. Punishments are to punish the transgressor, not to reward anyone else. You had your chance to beat us in that first half and you fucked it up and now you’re screaming for a bye.

Emotionally, I’ve gone everywhere with this ever since it was originally reported. To start with, I was not believing a word of it because it came from the Daily Mail, then it became obvious there was clearly something in it and by the time the charge came, I wanted to burn everything down and was thinking that people should be sacked left right and centre. By the time the game came around, I had got very defensive again mainly because of all the shit that was written by the mainstream media, stuff that was said on TV and Middlesbrough fans giving it the maximum outrage they could possibly muster and demanding a bye. Kim Hellberg’s more desperate comments after the game just pissed me off and so now I’m digging my heels in. If it’s proven that we’ve systematically cheated and it was an authorised operation then fair enough, throw the book at us and people should be sacked. As said, I can’t moan about Leicester getting away with stuff and not apply the same standards to my own club. If however, it’s at the other end of the scale and it’s one numpty acting alone then a lot of this outrage can just fuck off. We’d still be guilty but it’s not the same level. Regardless though, it’s a sorry episode in the history of the club and through no fault of their own, the players and the fans have had everything thrown up in the air.

I love the way that the more vocal Boro fans are all fucking holier than thou, when anyone with a long memory will remember Middlesbrough deciding unilaterally to not turn up for a game once because they had a few injuries. Maybe they can take their outrage and not turn up on Tuesday.

Spygate will play out. The investigation will happen but in the meantime, people will continue to write speculative shite and try and pass it off as fact. Ragebait pundits like Troy Deeney will talk shite and there will be entitled bollocks coming out of Middlesbrough. I’m butting out until the investigation is concluded. My best guess (using logic and precedence) at this point is that though we’ve been arseholes by some degree, we will end up with a fine and a points deduction of 2 or 3 points in the EFL. For context, the EFL docked Leicester 6 points and there was no fine, for the offence of being £20 million over the spending cap and non-compliance in the investigation.

Bring on Tuesday night whether the narratives will be the same, but the atmosphere at St Mary’s will be one of those ones that you do not want to miss. Bring it on.