Carabao Cup Second Round and West Ham at St Mary’s, which is a game that is absolutely impossible to predict, given that both clubs have agendas considerably more important than this one. Tonda Eckert will want to win to give his fringe players more chances of minutes on the pitch in later rounds, whilst Nuno Espirito Santo will want to win because he is not used to winning games since he rocked up at the Dildo Dome last season. Actually, I can’t call at the Dildo Dome anymore, given that Gold and Sullivan are no longer in the boardroom for differing reasons. David Gold passed away a few years ago and David Sullivan found himself on Panorama with various accusations of dodginess aimed at him, which means that for now at least he has stepped away.

Though Sullivan, Gold and Brady have gone, West Ham still have the cloud of Nuno and I’m amazed he kept his job, probably based on being successful in this division many years ago for Wolves. Personally I think he’s a busted flush and his dreadful and very short spells at Tottenham and Nottingham Forest, do nothing to change that view. He had more than enough time to save the Hammers from the drop last season and failed. The style of football is so slow and risk-averse – it’s fine being pragmatic when you are a team in the bottom six of the Prem, but you can’t play that way in the Championship when you have to go out and win 25-ish games.

With a draw and a defeat (at home to Nathan Jones) in their first two games, the toxicity levels in the fanbase will be rising before long. The transfer window closing should help as those players who laughably think they are a higher level will have to just get on with it instead of staring at the exit door and waiting for it to open.

Anyway, West Ham and their fans get to put all that aside for an evening to come down to St Mary’s in the Carabao and we could well be seeing some reunions on the pitch with Saints squad containing both Divin Mubama and Flynn Downes and West Ham’s containing Kyle Walker-Peters and of course James Ward-Prowse. KWP is a first choice player in their league starting XI at the moment, so he may well not be playing, but it’s almost certain that JWP will be playing, having seemingly made up with Nuno after the “Baldygate“ fallout. It’s hard to imagine JWP calling his manager Baldy, but it’s also hard to imagine how petty and insecure you have to be as a manager to use that as an excuse to cast out a player who is earning £100 grand a week.

Neither of these players should get any shit from the home fans tonight as both were pretty exemplary in both their service to Saints.. JWP was of course with us for years and it was perfectly understandable that he left when we got relegated for the first time as he was on the fringes of the England squad at the time. It hasn’t really worked out for him anywhere since though. Baldygate hasn’t helped, especially when Nuno followed him from Forest back West Ham, when Prowsey’s loan ended and Nuno was sacked and got the Hammers job. Out on loan at Burnley last year, he played a few games but didn’t pull up any trees. KWP stayed with us after that relegation and played in the Russell / Ivan / Rusk 12-point season in the Prem, but left at the end of his contract, rather than sign up for another tour of the Championship. Though leaving on a free is never great for the club, he was here for a number of years and the fact that he got relegated with us and gave us a season in the Championship carries a lot of weight with me. I expect Prowsey now wishes he had done the same thing.

I anticipate West Ham being mainly fringe players tonight and I think the same can be said of Saints, where I think you can expect to see the likes of Roerslev, Welington, Quarshie, Bragg, Edozie, Dobbin and Mubama. There will probably be minutes for Romeo Akachukwu as well. West Ham have some talented youngsters and have many from their 2023 win in the FA Youth Cup, which Divin Mubama was part of – hopefully Mubama will score against his second former club in a few days. The youngsters will bring a freshness to the West Ham side tonight.

Of the West Ham fans that I’ve spoken to about tonight’s game, there is almost a universal feeling that they would happily get binned tonight in this game, if it meant that Nuno was one step closer to the exit door.

Nothing concrete has happened since the Stoke game regarding incomings and outgoings. There are rumours of Cam Archer being a target for Preston and also of a second bid from Aston Villa for THB being knocked back. Brighton probably did us a favour on Saturday by thrashing Villa 4-0 – maybe it will make them think that they can’t carry on pissing about with tyre-kicker offers.

Team news and it’s five changes. Welington, Bragg, Akechukwu, Dobbin and Mubama all start. It’s surprising to see Scienza out there. My first thought is that you can read more into those not starting or not involved – Roerslev for example, is not in the squad. Tonda clearly doesn’t trust George Long – even in the Carabao. West Ham have quite a few youngsters playing and it’s “high squad number bingo”. All of their strength is on the bench. That includes KWP but not JWP who is nowhere to be seen.

West Ham’s youngsters seem to be feeling their way into the game as Fellows gets the ball on the right, does his stepover thing and gets a cross in, which is flicked away by Kilman as far as Scienza on the edge of the box and he dribbles across to the right, finds himself a yard and reverses it into the far corner of the net. Get in. Really good finish and hopefully that will do wonders for Leo‘s season.

As expected, Scienza is looking very lively from his hybrid left-wing/left-wing back position and he gets to the by line before finding Romeo Akachukwu, whose pull back finds no one in the middle. Unfortunate but Saints have started well.

Around the twenty minute mark, West Ham start getting the ball up to Joel Piroe as much as possible and he gets played in behind Jack Stephens and turns him inside out before working himself a yard and drilling it across goal and Peretz saves with a strong right hand.

The game is beginning to turn now as the West Ham youngsters have settled and they are now looking like the better side. Piroe has another effort from the edge of the box which is straight at Peretz. Back come Saints though with Scienza cutting in from the left before being fouled. With Manning on the bench, Leo grabs the ball and his free-kick is decent but flicks off the wall. From the resulting corner, the keeper punches it out as far as Bragg who slices it horribly up in the air but Woody keeps it alive and heads it back into the mixer where Captain Jack swings a leg at it and really should do better than stabbing it a couple of feet wide.

A West Ham break sees Bree get back well to poke the ball off for a corner and when it comes in, Peretz gets under it and misses the fucking thing altogether and Ajala is behind him to head into an empty net. Fuck sake – horrible error. People will say he was unmarked and that’s true, but when your keeper calls (presumably) and comes for it, only the very best will be anticipating him missing it and not just getting out of the way. Our defenders are not the very best.

The game has completely turned now, regardless of the goal and Piroe is determined to do things all on his own picking the ball up on the right and running at Jack Stephens and he cuts back inside before Stephens swipes his leg away. Fucking hell – that looks like a pen. How the fuck have we got away with that one ?

The highlight of the end of the first half is KWP warming up down the side and getting an appreciative round of applause.

Half-time comes and goes and the second half starts with West Ham well on top now. A low cross comes in from the left and Stephens clearance is terrible and scuffed out to Ajala, but he has chance to make up for the error by closing down Ajala and throwing himself at the ball, but he doesn’t commit and Ajala just rolls it past him and past the unsighted Peretz into the corner. Absolute fucking shit. I think Stephens was trying to pass that first time to James Bree and got it wrong. He is the only person in the ground who thought he was capable of that pass. Fucking ridiculous decision – exactly the same as at Watford. This goal is like a hybrid of the two Watford goals – the wayward clearance from the first followed by the lack of block for the second.

The game has a feeling of inevitability about it now, but West Ham goalkeeper Herrick gives us a chance when he comes 40 yards out to chest down high ball and can only pop it down onto the left foot of Mubama and you would think with it being on a strong foot that he could somehow get that goalward, but he doesn’t manage it at all despite the net being completely empty.

Nuno takes this as a hint to get his good players on as he can see that we are fucked and playing at walking pace and on come Bowen, Solomon, Engles and Castellanos. We are all over the place now as West Ham have upped the place again. Saints have brought on a Edozie, Downes and Matsuki.

Azaz comes on for the tiring Akechukwu, who has had a decent game, but it’s academic cause it’s only West Ham who are going to threaten the goal and Bowen does just that and brings out another really good safe from Peretz, who beats away his right-footed effort from a narrow angle.

It must be time to concede another shit goal and here it is. A long ball is floated down the right, is missed by Edozie and Veltman is in behind and he lays a simple ball across for Castellanos to knock into the net. So easy and fucking crap, all at the same time.

In true Mick McCarthy Meme fashion, we are thinking of this can’t carry on but of course as Mick will tell you, it can. We flicker briefly as Edozie does his thing – beats two players and then fucks it. This time it’s a shot/backpass to the keeper. Is it time for another? Yes it is and West Ham stroll through midfield before working the ball out of Bowen and he’s given a very nice escort by Welington and Stephens to get him into the perfect position to score that goal that they’ve seen him score 200 times, before Bowen gives Peretz no chance at all. It’s fucking embarrassing, it really is.

What’s left of the 12,000 odd Saints fans in the ground file out. If they are anything like me then they are pondering the wisdom of spending £22.50 on this half arsed shit and vowing not to do it next year. Well, that was absolute shit. I know it’s the Carabao cup and we don’t give much a shit about it but that was a very worrying performance

The main takeaway I have from the game is that we looked completely unfit compared to the West Ham youngsters, who once they settled down after the opening in 20 minutes, looked bigger, stronger, more athletic than many of our first team players. We just don’t look on it, like pre-season was completely half arsed and we’ve turned up expecting to just do what we want and get the same results as we got out of the tail end of last season. Has pre-season been easy? The opposition certainly were substandard and I’m wondering if it was relatively easy in terms of fitness, whilst the club fought to get everyone back onside after last seasons shambles.

The gaps that we have in the squad were also laid bare tonight, the lack of central defensive cover and quality, the lack of midfield cover, and there were slightly worrying performances by our two new signings.

In Wood and Stephens we have two pretty average central defenders, with no leader. People say Jack Stephens is a leader because he is the captain and he’s very experienced but in terms of the way he plays, he is not a defensive leader who runs the defence and leads by example. No one plays any better or has their level lifted by anything that Jack Stephens does. It has always been this way. When Jack played with a much better central defender like Virgil van Dijk or Jose Fonte, he puts in decent performances because they keep him on the straight and narrow and raise his game. Similar happens to a lesser degree when partnering THB, who leads the defence. When Stevo is expected to do that, which he is with Nathan Wood, it’s a shit show when we come up against even vaguely competent opposition. If and when THB goes, we need a new defensive leader as an absolute priority.

West Ham were more than competent. As I said, after the opening 20 minutes once they settled down, they looked fresher and faster and played with more intensity than we did. The goal was coming, though at the end of the day it was a shocking bit of goalkeeping by Daniel Peretz, totally misjudging the flight of a corner.

West Ham came out even better in the second half and we went backwards. Goal number two was a Stephens classic where he basically produced a crap clearance to a West Ham player and then just didn’t react and ended up acting as a shield so the keeper couldn’t see the ball that was rolled past him. From that moment on the game was done, especially when Nuno introduced for first team players. When those four came on the pace of West Ham’s game went through the roof compared to ours and though we ended the game with virtually our first team on the pitch, we couldn’t stop West Ham scoring another couple of goals with some more dreadful defending.

We had too many players who are not at the performance levels of last season and they are not at the fitness levels of last season. It’s easier to name the ones who are because it’s a pretty short list Flynn Downes looks as fit as he’s ever been and Cyle Larin looks fitter than last season.

There were a couple of notable positives today, namely Leo Scienza and Romeo Akachukwu. Leo looked over his injured shoulder and wanted to take people on and make things happen, which was great to see. He’s a difference maker for us so if nothing else good comes out of this game, then his return to something approaching his best, is huge. Romeo clearly has something about him – he’s physically strong and athletic and forward looking. We could definitely do a lot worse than keeping him around this season to be the understudy for Finn Azaz and/or the wingers.

Defeat in the Carabao Cup doesn’t matter on its own and it may in fact do some good in the longer term. Dragan Solak‘s promise of having a team to compete at the top of the League has a week to be sorted out now because our current squad is nowhere near the level, assuming THB goes, we are probably two central defenders short. Wood and Stephens are to me anyway, third and fourth choice central defender standards. You can probably get away with one of them in the team if the main central defender is considerably better, be that THB or someone else, but you can’t have both of them.

We are crying out for another midfielder – Cam Bragg should be the fourth option out of the four midfielders that we have for the centre of the pitch. Currently, we are running with just two, with Charles being sold and Jander being injured. We are having to put Matsuki in midfield and whilst he tries his best there it is not ideal.

Matsuki would probably be first choice on the right wing so it’s reducing our options there as well with Fellows and Edozie being given minutes and they both flatter to deceive massively. You could certainly argue we have issues on the wings.

The recruitment has to be better in the next few days. Lewis Dobbin is putting in slightly worrying performances at the moment. We don’t seem to know what position to use him in, but I’m noticing that he’s not particularly quick or skillful, but the most alarming thing is how easily he gets brushed off the ball and how often he just gives the ball away. Divin Mubama really struggled to make any impression today and in his appearance is so far, we’ve seen the odd good touch and one good finish but there’s not much hold-up play and he doesn’t look particularly strong in the air. It’s early days for both Dobbin and Mubama of course, but we are certainly not looking at either of those two and thinking that they are the answers to all our prayers.

So, over to Dragon and Johannes to make Dragan’s promise of having a top team in the Championship come true. It’s going to be an interesting few days before the transfer window closes. In the meantime, we have a game on Saturday against the physical specimens of Millwall, currently sitting top of the League with two wins out of two. That has the potential to be messy, especially if we don’t compete at the ugly side of the game. We struggled with West Ham’s kids today, so it’s hard to be too optimistic.

Hopefully today was a wake-up call.

Up the fuckin’ Saints

Footnote:

In the day after the game, there was news of a left footed centre-back arriving in the form of Keven Schlotterbeck from Augsburg, who has 150 odd Bundesliga appearances to his name at age 29. It’s a decent level of football and it’s the level that Leo Scienza came from as opposed to the level Josh Quarshie came from. The fact that he plays on the left, is experienced and is captain of his club, certainly points to him being first choice at the expense of our current captain.

Also, intriguingly, Baldygate may be rumbling on as JWP is being linked with a return home. He left us when on £100k a week and went to West Ham on £120k a week. Even if that halved on relegation, £60k a week will be too rich for us so whilst I’m ‘relatively’ enthusiastic about the potential of this happening, I do wonder about the financials.